Goals: Can Just Anybody Have Them? By Sue Dickinson
I’ve always wanted to run a 5K race – maybe I’ll train for it in a couple years when the kids are in school full time…
My dream is to have my own business, but how can I focus on that now?
Sure, I’d love to go back to school and get my masters, but that will have to wait until things settle down around here…
Do any of these sound familiar to you? One thing we are not told before we become moms is how quickly the time flies. It begins with feedings, diaper changes and trips to the store (for more formula and diapers of course). Then potty training and pre-school make way for homework, sports and other activities for our kids. A friend of mine told me this week that she had no idea when she decided to be a stay-at-home mom that it really means stay-in-her-car mom while she drives over 700 miles a week taking her kids from one activity to another. Add a job on top of those obligations and is it any wonder that we put our “big” dreams on hold and merely hope for a few spare minutes to read a magazine in the bathroom now and then?
Yet we still dream that “someday” we will be able to make the time.
Sadly, as we sit and wait for the time to be exactly right, all we get is a little bit older and a lot more sure that those goals will never be accomplished.
But don’t let this depress you even more! In fact, now is actually the absolutely best time to start in on some of those goals and dreams you’ve been putting on hold.
Why?
Imagine for a moment that you are holding a small infant on your lap. You look into their face and talk to them softly. They are transfixed – they literally can’t take their eyes off of your face. All of a sudden, they open their mouth in a big toothless grin and say…”gaaaaaa.” You are thrilled! They have taken that first step toward growing up – they are learning to speak.
Now, no one would expect that a child go from toothless infant to public speaker over night. Still, we, as their parents, patiently talk to them and teach them the benefits of being able to speak out loud. If we chose to remain silent until they were old enough to speak full sentences, their desire and, yes, even their ability to speak would be hindered.
Should we behave any differently while instilling in our kids the importance of setting and achieving goals? It’s pretty certain that throughout their lives our children will need to achieve many things. Whether it’s learning to walk, excelling at a sport, or getting their homework done, children are constantly challenged to set and achieve goals in their life. How they accomplish that is taught by their most important role models – their parents. What example do we set if we choose to put our own desires on hold?
Not that I’m suggesting that it’s easy to set an objective and see it through. I learned that the hard way, when I set what I then thought was the unattainable goal to write and publish a book. The roadblocks and detours to reaching my objective appeared soon after I began. Some were small and short lived – like a sick son who needed me more than the manuscript I was writing, or the project at work that demanded all of my mental energy. Others lasted longer, like when I got pregnant (and tired…) just as I was hoping to beef up the promotion for my book.
There are many days when I think it would be easier if I didn’t try to achieve my goals, especially those times when my progress seems to be in super-slow-motion. But I can never forget the day my five-year-old son saw my book in print for the first time. “You wrote this Mom?” he asked. “Can just anybody write a book?” Gee thanks, kid…
But, after I picked my pride up off of the floor, I assured him that it was true. He decided he would write a book, too - one with a lot more pictures than my book had. That day, “Stuck In the Rocks,” about a young skier who got stuck in the rocks and had to be saved by the Ski Patrol, was born.
That experience alone makes it all worthwhile – it feels incredible to be able to teach my son by my example that any dream is possible if you are willing to work to achieve your goals.
It certainly doesn’t make fitting everything I hope to accomplish into my already packed life easy. And I doubt it will be easy for you, either. Seeing as the mere job description for “mom” takes up so much of our time, achieving our personal goals can take much longer than for a person with no family. But, it’s not something we do just for ourselves. It’s so that we can tell our children someday: “See, just anybody can do it. Even me…and, yes, even you!” Isn't that worth it?
