Time Management For Moms: Adventures in the Twilight Zone By Sue Dickinson
I was so excited! It had been a very long week, and a cold had kept me from waking at my normal 4:30 am to do my morning workout for most of it. But this Sunday morning, my eyes were opened and alert at 4:20, and I was ready to start the day and the new week off right!
After my workout session, I watched a bit of the morning news as I cooled down. The cheerful and quirky newscasters were joking about how easy it was to get up this morning, since they got that extra hour of sleep – extra hour of sleep???
I had completely forgotten about daylight savings time, and had awoken at 3:30 to workout instead of 4:30!!!!
Instantaneously, the good mood I had had since I got up disappeared. It didn’t matter that I’d been wide awake and ready to go. Now all I could think about was the extra hour of sleep I’d “missed.” What kind of a time manager am I, anyway?
Time management is a slippery idea that everyone talks about, but few understand. You are either a proficient time manager (which is good), or a poor time manager (which is not good). This concept works well on a resume and in theory, but what happens when real life gets in the way of our good intentions?
A few weeks ago, I sat at my desk Monday morning with a to-do list a mile long. I spent the first part of my morning prioritizing my week – using my “excellent” time management skills to plan exactly how it would all get done by Friday. I was feeling pretty proud of myself, and was just about to dig in when I got the call…
My 14 month old was limping badly and I needed to come get her from daycare.
I had two choices: call Grandma and ask her to take care of it so I could stick to my schedule and manage my time…or follow my heart and high tail it out of there and get to my daughter as soon as possible.
I chose #2, and the next 4 days I spent in the mom twilight zone. I took care of and entertained my daughter for hours at home and on the floor of countless doctor’s offices while medical professionals took their time trying to determine what might have caused her limping. I used up my anytime minutes handling the fire drills at the office and staying in touch with my husband and son at home. Time management flew out the window – survival was the only objective.
The story has a happy ending, the doctors finally determined that Jessica had a broken fibula, which healed quickly after two weeks in a cast. She is no worse for the wear. I, on the other hand, am a little battle worn from the sudden disruption, and am still trying to catch up both at work and at home from my week in the twilight zone.
There’s a lot of advice out there on how to become an effective time manager. Most of them spend a lot of time on specific management skills such as planning, delegating, organizing and controlling. These are all important abilities, and we should all spend time developing them.
But most of these sources neglect one of the most critical skills, especially to moms, and that is the ability to adjust to what life throws us! One of my former bosses told me once: "It’s impossible to manage time, time is uncontrollable. But what I can manage, is myself.” What are some ways we can do that, especially when we have to change our plans in midstream?
For one, it’s important to be aware of those things that make a change in plans so stressful to you, and try to combat them before they become a factor.
For example, whenever things don’t go according to the routine I’ve set, I find myself reaching for the junk food to cope. A more wholesome and forward thinking approach would be for me to have healthy snacks such as nuts, cheese and fruit with me to eat before I start feeling the stress of the moment.
Maybe you feel a sense of disconnect when you adjusting to an unexpected crisis. It might help you to make sure your cell phone is recharged and to stay in constant contact with work or home.
Maybe you feel a pressure to get everything done in spite of the situation, and it frustrates you when you can’t do it. It may take the pressure off if you can learn to trust others to take care of things while you can’t (even if it isn’t done exactly as you’d like).
Some people see their personality change as a coping tactic, and these women need to catch themselves early to prevent becoming aggressive, combative or negative thinking.
Each woman is different, and how they can adjust their plans and manage their time effectively under adversity will be different because of this. But if you are attentive to how you may react to a situation before it occurs, it can help you get through it better. The key ingredient is to be aware that no matter what you are facing, it, like time, will pass - and soon, you will be out of the mom twilight zone, and back once again in the real world.
Sue Dickinson is a mom, a business woman, and the founder of www.Unlimited Mom.com, a web site and e-newsletter designed to celebrate the many facets of Mom - her family, her work, and her personal development. Sue is also the author of the recently released book: "What's a Mom to Do? Overcoming the Urge to Put Your Life on Hold", which can be purchased at unlimitedmom.com or at Amazon.com
