M-O-M Spells “Leader” :A Six Part Series for Leadership Success
Step 3: Attitude
One of my favorite movies is Groundhog Day with Bill Murray. There’s one scene where Bill Murray is re-living Groundhog Day for about the 100th time and he finally gets his television producer, played by Andie McDowell, to believe him. He’s complaining about how he’s stuck living the worst day of his life over and over and over, when Andie McDowell chirps up in her perky little voice “oh, maybe it’s not so bad…it all depends on how you look at it!”
And Bill, in typical Bill fashion, gives a deadpan look to the camera and sarcastically gushes: “gosh, you’re right!”
It’s hilarious (and just a little sad), how the producers and actors so totally captured the struggle between optimists and pessimists in that short scene.
And yet, regardless of whether you lean more toward the pessimistic “Bill” side, or are as perky as optimistic Andie, your attitude makes a difference in your life.
If you are a leader of any sort, it is critical to learn, as Colin Powell so eloquently puts it “to lead by looking through the windshield, not the rearview mirror”. In other words, thoughtful (or, I’ve also heard it called intelligent) optimism is the way to go, both for your team, and for your life personally.
Not always an easy thing to achieve, especially for those of us living in the fast (or, at least the carpool) lane, who often find ourselves haphazardously reacting to situations rather than thoughtfully responding to them.
Attitude begins in the heart. And so it is impossible to overcome negative, destructive emotions and replace them with more positive, affirming ones until we take the time to examine ourselves and face our fears and demons head on.
Now, although you have undoubtably heard this type of thing as often as I have, does that prior paragraph sound just a little too new-agey and weird to you?
But, put another way, all it means is that we need to always be on the lookout for new knowledge and information that we can use to improve our lives.
William James said “The greatest discovery of our generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind. As you think, so shall you be.”
I would add to that my belief that if you never expose yourselves to new opportunities to think differently, you will never be able to change your attitude, as you will just keep thinking the same old thoughts. And so, the dedication to being a lifelong student is essential to great leadership and a great life.
I was in a seminar once and the presenter asked the audience to raise their hands as high as they could go. We all dutifully put our hands in the air. “Now,” the presenter continued, “raise them higher.” Like robots, we did, reaching just a bit further to the ceiling. “Why didn’t you do that the first time I asked you?” he challenged us. He laughed with us, but went on to convince us that by reaching as far as we can we would go farther in life than we could even imagine. And, as leaders, we will take our teams there right along with us!
But why don’t people strive to learn and grow more? A big part of it is fear – what if I’m not good enough? What if I am criticized for trying? What if I fail? We may not even have these thoughts conciously, but the negative demons keep working our subconcious minds, even as we fight to change. It is a constant effort to combat those pessimistic imps before they do more damage. But how?
Tom Hopkins started life as a struggling real estate agent and has grown into one of the premier sales coaches in America. He’s had plenty of experience with failure, criticism and rejection, and yet has not let those events change his course towards success. How? For one, he has a 4-part mantra he repeats when failure occurs that puts him on the right track, and it can help you and me as well:
I never see failure as failure, but only as:
1.…a learning experience.
2.…the feedback I need to change the course of my direction.
3.…an opportunity to perfect my performance and practice technique.
4.…the game I must play to win.
Let’s go back to Bill Murray for a minute. He was stuck in a pretty miserable situation, living the same day over and over and over (sound at all familiar?…). And yet, despite his leanings toward the pessimistic, he did go through a learning process and eventually changed the situation for the good. He identified the best parts of his day, kept them, and took advantage of his acquired knowledge to improve the rest of the day, for himself and for the others around him. He committed to becoming a lifelong student and to thoughtful optimism. And his attitude changed! He became happier, and a better mentor and role model for those around him. I guess Groundhog Day isn’t so bad after all… it all depends on how you look at it!
Sue Dickinson is a mom, a business woman, and the founder of www.Unlimited Mom.com, a web site and e-newsletter designed to celebrate the many facets of Mom - her family, her work, and her personal development. Sue is also the author of the book: "What's a Mom to Do? Overcoming the Urge to Put Your Life on Hold", which can be purchased at unlimitedmom.com.
