One popular quote by Grace Kelly “Getting angry doesn’t solve anything” is an apt quote for kids in my view. Our kids these days think if they will throw tantrums and demand for anything, parents will get them that.
Let me brief you once again.
Anger is common emotional outburst (like crying, temper tantrums, throwing toys etc) among kids which may be due to many reasons depending upon their age.
While young children cry when they are hungry or feel uncomfortable, older ones prefer to stay away and avoid parents if the situations are not in their favour.
As a parent your responsibility is to detect early signs and symptoms of your kid anger and make him emotionally tough. Remember, if your kid is strong enough to overcome his fears and emotions, no one can stop him to be a smart and strong personality in future.
Let me discuss major unavoidable signs that your child shows when he/she is angry (and how you can help!)
Relations and Anger
Recently one of my clients visited me asking solution for her 5 year old son who always complains her that none of his friends wants to play with him and stays away from him.
After series of counselling sessions, it was concluded that her sonhas anger issues, he end up fighting with his friends, classmates and even siblings. All his friends are scared of him and think and he will end up quarrelling or hitting them in anger
Fighting with classmates or hitting a sibling are few examples of anger outbursts in your kids. These signs may interfere with their ability to develop healthy relationships and maintaining friendships in future. And your child may face difficulties upholding long-term relationships.
As a parent you can always suggest them possible solutions and guide them with positive behaviours.
Learning Problems and Anger
Many a times, while solving maths problems my daughter becomes irritated and angry. She quickly loose her temper and starts ripping her notebook
-Mother of 6 year old daughter with learning disorder
Some children show such typical symptoms due to undiagnosed learning disorder. This is also referred to as an “Intermittent Explosive Disorder,” which results in sudden anger outbreak (ends suddenly too). Your child can lose his/her temper suddenly and starts screaming, cursing, hitting, and throwing. These behaviours are totally illogical and the child cannot be reasoned with. This episode ends almost as quickly as it begins.
There are many standardised tests available which can detect the type of learning disability among your kid or you can contact a child development expert in order to be aware of your child’s problem.
For a young child of age 2 year, it is normal to cry hard and roll on the floor when he’s mad on his father but for a 6 year old child it’s not normal to do the same.
As the child matures, his /her outburst also matures. Regularity and strength of getting angry varies according to the age. If your kid’s tantrums are getting worse with age, he/she might need help in managing his emotions.
As a parent you can help your child to behave age appropriate and show emotional by teaching him his feelings in an age-appropriate manner.
Using Anger as a Means
As I have discussed in the very beginning of this article, never let your kid use his/her anger as a tool. Anger should always be the last alternative. Let your child work hard and let him/her put efforts to complete the given task. If he/she struggles to solve the conflict by own and asks for help without giving any effort. Be alert! He/she may be using aggression as a way to get his/her needs met.
Avoiding social gatherings because of Anger
Are you scared of going out with your friends and family fearing of your kid’s anger?
Trust me skipping social gatherings and avoiding outings is only a temporary solution. If your daily activities are hampered because of your child’s aggression, it’s not at all fit for anyone in the family. This will end up increasing your kid’s anger issues and also increase his capability of facing others in future. Instead try to find out the permanent solutions of managing your kid’s anger.
Low Tolerance Power and Anger
“While solving puzzles, my younger one always end up crying because he is not able to solve the puzzle and get angry very soon.”
If your kid has a habit of losing temper and getting irritated while doing activities, he may have low tolerance power. Low tolerance power results in anger and frustration among kids. Try engaging your kids in activities they love and which are of their interest
Behaviour and Anger
Some common behaviours like sudden outburst will are not age appropriate, hurting himself/herself or other around, teachers complaining about your kid, , your kid’s exclusion from birthday parties or social gatherings and family commotion because of child’s behaviours are some of the warning signs that your should not neglect and seek professional help for your lad.
Finding the triggers
I can understand how it feels as a parent and how upset you are from inside. Believe me if you find any above signs which shows that your child have anger issues, try finding the triggers first.
Anger and frustration are common emotional signs only if they are up to a limit. When a child regularly gets angry and makes it a habit of dealing with realities, it is a matter of concern for parents.
Be a key to your child’s lock, find the trigger and help them live their future happily.